Thursday, January 27, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Cellphone Addicts

The best and the worst part about writing a book is waiting to hear what people have to say about it once it’s published.

My mom is my biggest fan. Half way through reading Cornelia Button and the Globe of Gamagion, she says to me: “Do I really have to finish this?” I say she does and she sighs her way through to the end. She’s very loyal.
But my favourite readers are the ones who review books for a living. There is this one who spells my name wrong, another who spells the main character’s name wrong and then there are the bunch who say I haven’t had time to read your book yet, but I’m sure you’ll walk me through it in the interview.
Reviewers - you just gotta love ‘em - or at least act polite when you meet them.
My all time favourites are those reviewers who email you twenty questions and publish your responses verbatim as “an interview with the author”.
Q: Where do you get your inspiration?
A: I take a lot of hard drugs and sleep with unsuitable men in public parks.
Q: What can we expect from you next?
A: I’m hoping to assassinate some world leader and become a professional hooker.
I swear on the life of Teen2's dog Zwiggy I’m going to do it next time I get those twenty questions.
So it is that I look forward with much excitement to the responses from the readers of Confessions of a Virgin Loser when it goes live on cellphones in August last year courtesy of Mr Steve Vosloo and the Shuttleworth Foundation.
The one thing about cellphone addicts who read stories on small screens is that they have the craziest names. This one called $nuz+chick(H)$ has the following to say about the story: “I ddnt lyk da ending it wznt fascinatn sowri”

Well, I am sorry too.
Then there is this one young adult called [$(*ţìñ¤.çøm*)$]  (what on earth does his mom call him?) who has the eye of an entrepreneur. He says: “Awesum , i really like to see a movie based on this. A lot of teens will actually lose their virgni# . Or maybe not. And they will be alot party's goin on every , and someone whose runnin a condom business he/she will earn a profit!”

He's ripe for a fellowship at the Shuttleworth Foundation.

Then there is Ryan who says: I love this story its so dum and at the same time cool i love it” but a chap called Makoya says: “Ths stori sucks:[ “ – and he gives a sad face.

I know how he feels.
Apart from having spelling and punctuation issues, the young adults also have an interesting take on matters of a sexual nature.
L4U.COM@ says: “Nw ths is the chapter i was waitng 4,so i say bring on the chapter ,an thre nthng wrong with getng laid as long as ur using protection swt niblets ,cant wait”
But A+paragon+of+human+perfection says the thought of having sex for the first time is: Sheer horror and terribly scary not for the faint hearted”
Then there's the guy with the sensible name, Rushaan who says: “The ending needs work on. One should never end any story that abruptly.” – and he remembers his full stop, which is always a nice way to end a review.


  1. Love it love it love it. Reader comments are my new fascination.

  2. And here I was hoping I would get an e-mailed interview out of you :)

    I'm still going to try my luck with Paige though!

    happy Friday